“Don’t fight your one-on-one time with God. It’s time well spent. Find the beauty in it…” – ❤
Preparing to write this post I struggled with a title for it. I had a few titles laid out: “Don’t Rush It”, “Embrace Motherhood”, etc. I just didn’t know which one to pick! So, I chose God’s Words instead of my own. Ecclesiastes 3:1 states, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven”. Through this post I basically would like to encourage US to hold on to being single and trust God to provide us with our significant other in His timing.
Being alone is a daily struggle for me. Everyday I have to fight the feeling of missing having someone to talk to for myself, someone to provide that comfort factor for me. I have had to admit to myself that it is not fair to me or my daughter if I continually try to place someone in the place of the one who has let us down. It’s just no fair. Me searching for a mate negates Proverbs 18:22, “He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” If I continue the searching I feel like I’m out of order, conviction sets in on me big time. Therefore when I start “tripping”, I have to tell myself: “IN GOD’S TIMING”.
Being completely honest, I desire to have a man, man of God that is. A man who is strong in his faith, loving and willing to accept the role of a full-time father. But I refuse to settle outside of the boundaries God has set for me…
Over the past 3 years my desire to do God’s will has slowly, and I mean s l o w l y (SMH at myself!!!), taken precedence over me being in a relationship. It is challenging trying to stretch myself as servant, mother, teacher, coach, and then tack “girlfriend” at the end of that. As a girlfriend, this unintentional feeling of obligation shows up, and somehow as a “woman” I, and maybe you sometimes, start playing wife without the hardware a.k.a the ring!!! It’s hard trying not to give up God’s position when it’s time to be girlfriend. Before I know it at times I’m thinking of my “boyfriend” more than God. I have found myself on few occasions, before and after having my daughter, neglecting God all together and finding it hard to give Him the glory He so rightfully deserved. This isn’t intentional but it happens. Especially when both people are struggling to keep God first and demanding a lot from one another…
In my last relationship I REALLY struggled. I hope you all don’t mind if I tell on myself!!! I knew God was calling me into a season of isolation, but I fought it. I believed in my “little” strength that I could juggle a relationship and allow God to have His way in my life. Throughout the relationship, I prayed, stagnantly, that God would have His way in the midst of the mess I was creating. I went through cycles, YES just like “monthly cycles”, of frustration and anxiety attacks. I thought I was going crazy! It finally came to the point where I made a complete fool of myself and the guy dumped me! I can’t blame Him.
Taking responsibility for myself, I knew I had a broken spirit before I even went into this relationship. By broken spirit I mean pain from the past, pride, greed, etc. I knew I wasn’t ready but I fought it so I wouldn’t have to be A L O N E. God wanted one-on-one time with me. I forced my isolation season to compromise with a relationship I was no where near ready for. To make matters worst, my daughter grew attached to him. He had his issues, but all in all he was a great guy. I have had to be honest with her about our relationship and just let her know we’re just friends now and he won’t be around as much as he used to. That hurt her. It hurt me too seeing the results of my decision.
Now that I am able to move forward into God’s will for my life. I have shed a few tears in regret of not following God’s will and creating a mess. I am remaining open to everything happens for a reason and it could’ve been worse. I appreciate God using me to make a complete fool of myself, in order to get my attention. The fool I saw has been given over to the Lord! I have repented for putting people into harm’s way because I wanted to selfishly have my own way. I also thank God for never leaving me, although I removed myself from His boundaries.
Jeremiah 31:33 – “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel after those days,” says the Lord. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts, I will be their God, and they will be my people.” NLT
People don’t hold the power to be God in our lives. God placed this special void on the inside of us on purpose. We can seek Him to fill it. Don’t become numb to or try to replace that yearning on the inside with something in this world. It won’t last. Only God has the key. Depending on the season you’re in, I encourage you to embrace this season of your parenting alone with God. Find the beauty of being a Mother, an overseer of a precious life. I bet He’ll reveal some Truth to you that’ll unlock more of who He created you to be… ❤
Here are a couple of scriptures I use when my flesh starts acting up: 🙂
1 John 4:4 – “…the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” NLT
Isaiah 41:10 – “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you…” NLT